Ever Run Into One Of These?
I have. Thousands of times. Especially when I’m depressed. I need to move forward, but I can’t because of the emotional and psychological barrier that’s in front of me. Why, why, why, does this have to happen? I don’t have an exact answer. It could be fear keeping me from moving ahead. Fear of what? The unknown perhaps. Or, it could be that my mind is so fucking foggy that I can’t think straight and come up with new ways, or different options for finding a solution to being held back from something I want to accomplish. So, what do you do about it? Well, I’ve tried alcohol, drugs, porn, T.V., movies, ect. and the benefits are only temporary at best. Then, I’m back in front of the wall again – stuck!
So, what do you do? Well, for some people, taking a break away from whatever it is that is frustrating them, and let “it” rest. They go and do something else such as meditate, play relaxing music, exercise, watch a movie, practice a different skill be it their golf stroke, a piece of different music (not the piece that’s giving them trouble) – anything to create some separation from whatever “it” is that’s causing them to feel “stuck.” You need to create some breathing space between you and the problem. Another way of looking at changing up your approach to “the brick wall” is to create a mental shift. You’re probably saying, “This is shit!” “What the hell is he talking about?” Let me explain.
This whole last week I was feeling as though it wouldn’t matter if I checked out of this life because I was feeling like my attempts to stave off depression were becoming futile, and that I was only here to make money, pay bills, eat, sleep, and go to work. Pretty narrow minded, and self-centered thinking, but nevertheless, that’s how I felt. So, is this really true? Does it matter if I’m here on this earth or not? Well, if I just think about myself, and my own pile of problems, it doesn’t seem like it would matter if I disappeared off the face of the earth.
But, when I start to think about service to others, about helping people who are suffering, who need a friend, who are in emotional, physical, or psychological pain, then something inside me starts to shift emotionally, and psychologically. Yeah, you’re going to feel bad that you’re stuck. Yeah, you’re going to feel like quitting. Yeah, you’re going to feel frustrated, and that you are a loser because you’re not making progress. However, that’s when you need to take a break, and to mentally focus on something else – something other than what you are ramming your head into, and getting nowhere fast.
When I start to to shift away from focusing on what I sometimes refer to as”the futility of my own life” – when I think of others who are feeling like it doesn’t matter if they are here, or not, then I start to see the value of hanging around for a while. When I think of me making someone else happy through some act of human kindness, even if it’s just a smile, or about helping them by easing their suffering, then I start to shift from feeling valueless to feeling valuable – that I truly have value as do all living things – and I once more move forward, and “the brick wall” is gone, or I’ve broken through it and I’m on my way.
It may be that your working on your motorcycle and you fucked something up on your bike (been there a few times!), or maybe you’re trying to write a letter, or trying to outdo your personal best at the gym, or maybe you’re just trying to barley make it through the day – maybe you can’t even get out of bed because you are so low emotionally. I know about this! I’m not saying go out and wash your neighbor’s car and life will be great. I’m saying that by taking the focus off yourself and putting on something, or someone else and try to help make that thing, or that person have a better existence really works when you are stuck in a rut, and can’t get out of it.
Certainly, you’ve heard of Thomas Edison, or The Wright Brothers? You motorcycle guys, how about William, Walter, Arthur Davidson and William S. Harley? Think these people had run into a few brick walls themselves? I read some where that it took Edison a thousand experiments before he finally was successful in developing the electric light bulb? Hey, I know he had to eat, and sleep sometime, right? He invented a lot of other stuff, too, like the first phonograph, the first motion picture, and the first carbon microphone. Need I explain what The Wright Brothers invented, or Harley-Davidson?
OK, those are “things”- not emotions. But, what I said earlier about service to others helping someone to shift their focus away from “the brick wall” and direct it to something else that requires attention, or someone who needs help is no less true. I’m mainly talking about being emotionally “stuck” – but, also being stuck on a task, or a problem you are trying to solve, the same applies. When you are really low, and your stuck in your own worries, go out and do something different, or go do something for somebody else that has no financial reward or gain in it for you. See what happens.