Where Is Your Focus?

Why Do I Still Have Depression?
September 6, 2019
Perspective
September 6, 2019

What Are You Focusing On?

Today’s blog: Where is your focus? On what you want, or on what you don’t want?

You probably are saying to yourself, “What kind of a stupid fucking question is that?” “Who gives a fuck?” Am I right? Yes? No? Well, let’s suppose you answered, “Yes.”

The reason you should give a fuck is we depression guys have a predisposition to focus on the negative, or to put it another way: we usually are focused on what we don’t want, instead of what we do want. Why is this important? Because when a person focuses on what they don’t want, they tend to get exactly that. This may sound confusing at first, but let me use a concrete example that may help clear up any confusion you might have regarding this.

Since I am a motorcyclist, and since my target audience is male motorcyclists with depression I will explain the concept of getting what you focus on (and thereby getting whatever “it” is) by using some basic motorcycle rider training information that you may, or may not be aware of, but will illustrate the point I am trying to drive home.

In motorcycle rider training we are taught that when you are steering the bike, the motorcycle goes wherever your eyes focusing on, meaning that if you are needing to make a left, or right turn, you look in the direction of where you want to go – not where you don’t want to go. We are further trained that if we look where we don’t want to go, that is exactly where the motorcycle is going to end up.

Stop and think for a moment what this means when you are trying to avoid a car that has turned in your path and now you must react with lightening speed in order to avoid a collision. If I’m on the bike approaching an intersection, and some numbskull “cager” is making a left turn into my oncoming approach (the number one killer for all motorcyclists) and I keep looking at the car that is by now blocking my direction of travel, instead of where I want to quickly serve and avoid crashing into the car, I am going to what ?; hit the car. This is what I didn’t want, yet it is precisely what happened. What I need to do is to look, in a nano second) where I want to put the bike, or in other words, I want the motorcycle to go in the direction of where my eyes are focused.

So, again, you learn in training that where you are looking, i.e. what you are focusing on and where it is, is where the bike is going to go. You learn this when you learn how to do full lock turns and slow speed: if you look down at the ground instead of keeping your eyes focused about five to six feet above the ground in the center of the circle you a making, you are most assuredly going down with the bike. Look down, go down!

The same is true when you come to a “T” intersection and you need to make a sharp left, or right turn. You must focus your eyes either to the left, or right of the turn and the motorcycle will then travel in the direction of where you are looking, or where your focus is. If you look at the opposite side of the “T” intersection, where you don’t want to go, your going to fail to negotiate the turn and most likely “high side” the corner, i.e. hit the roadside opposite of your approach to the corner of the turn. How many of our fellow motorcyclists have “bought it” in this scenario? Too many, that’s how many!

So, do you “get it”, yet. Where you look is where you go which means what you are focusing on is what you get. Therefore, instead of focusing on how fucked up you feel, or how shitty your life is try this:

First, go some place private where you won’t be disturbed, the “john” is a good place. Close your eyes and take two or three deep breaths. I don’t care if you feel stupid, just humor me for a minute and do it.

Next, in your mind’s eye, picture what it is you want. Picture yourself being happy, having a good life. You can pick any kind of situation you’d like as long as it’s positive. Picture yourself feeling better, feeling alive, feeling happy, like when you first got your motorcycle, or your first car, girl, job, expensive tool, home, whatever. The point is “focus” – where is it? On something pleasant? On something joyful? On something positive?

Now, stay with this feeling for a little bit and then open your eyes. Do feel even just a little bit better?

This is one way I deal with my depression, and this is some of the work I do with myself and with others. This is one way of coping and dealing with depression. Notice I didn’t say cure, I said coping and dealing with depression. It’s a journey, a ride, a process. I will be writing a lot more about focusing on what you want and why we draw to us specifically what we are trying to avoid when we say: I don’t want…(fill in the blank).

Oh, I just about forgot to address all those who answered “No”, to my initial question, Am I right? So, if you answered in the negative, then I suppose today’s blog doesn’t apply to you. Don’t worry. We’re not done, yet. I will have something for you, and for a lot of other people on my site. No doubt! You can also email at the following address and tell me what your issue is, or what you’d like to see discussed:

glenn@solutionsformaledepression.com

 Until next time, enjoy the ride!

Glenn “Grey Wolf” Jones